No Lies Just BS

Listen to Nick Swartz tell stories about his life. From growin' up in the small VA mountain town of Clifton Forge to his entry into and career in the tattoo industry. All the rough upbringin', punk rock, family, country, skateboardin', good eatin', blues, ass-kickin', tattooed, hard to believe but addictin' to perceive bullshit that can be packed into each episode. His brother Josh helps out and the guests are the best of the best.
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Mar 28, 2017

*...formerly titled "Gee"

Tony Riccio slides over from Va Beach to hang out at Alley Cat with Nick, Andrew and Porter. Trevor pops in for a bit, too.

The bullshit gets real deep real quick on this one and the laughter and stories are overwhelming enough that if you didn't read this, you wouldn't know who the hell Nick is talkin' to until over halfway through this episode.

No Shop Talk this week since this one went a bit long, and all the JMU students have the shop absolutely slammed this time o' year. But there's PLENTY of tattoo talk in this one to make up for it.

Have at it, ladies and dudes.

Mar 21, 2017

*...formerly titled "Heat"

Kick back and relax with some regularly scheduled storytellin' from the boys. Nick sits down with Andrew and pick up a little bit where they left off so many episodes back and then just head all over the place with this one.

Porter joins in with a few gems and Trevor finally sits down with us for more than five minutes. Almost the whole crew kickin' it this time.

Nothin' specific goin' on here, just a whole lotta bullshit and a heck of a lot of fun! You won't want to miss out after things get rolling here. You'll see.

Shop Talk follows, so listen up and enjoy the tattoos!


Mar 14, 2017

*...formerly titled "Pyramid"

Here it is. You knew it was coming. What you didn't know was how bad you wanted it. Well, you're about to find out.

Nick and tattoo legend Timothy Hoyer sit down for two and a half hours and discuss everything you want them to. Andrew Conner provides valuable assistance to this historical conversation. 

We love bringing you bullshit like this and we're stoked to release this one. It's a long, epic talk that almost killed my computer tryin' to put it together. But I managed to scrape it off my hard drive and into existence for you, our loyal bullshitters. Or as Tatter has suggested, our motherfuckers.

I'll be surprised if the internet doesn't meltdown after putting this up one week after Mr. Bruno and not so long after Mr. Brown. So listen while you can before the apocalypse begins and enjoy!

Mar 7, 2017

*...formerly titled "Magic"

You're just not gonna get great stories like these anywhere else! Hot damn. When you hear these guys reminisce, you know they're the best fuckin' friends and it's awesome. Nick chillin' with Brian Bruno. The master. And they kick it for quite a while and we get the honor of sittin' in on it.

Enjoy the hell outta that and stick around for another installment of Shop Talk. No lies, y'all.

Feb 28, 2017

*...formerly titled "Snakeskin"

I gotta tell y'all, this episode is long and it's strong and it's all about the stories when Dave "Boysno" heads back up to chill with Nick and Porter again.

In case you've ever wondered, this is Josh (Nick's bro, not Brown) writin' these things and man, this episode I felt more like a fan than ever, just listenin' to these guys cut it up. That's why this one is so late: I kept gettin' lost in the bullshit and having to go back and actually edit the damn thing! Over and over.

I really think you'll enjoy the extra length of this one, and I KNOW you're all going to enjoy everything we have ahead of us. Thanks so much for listening and giving the feedback and just hangin' out with us.

The bullshit never ends.

Feb 21, 2017

*...formerly titled "Krazy"

We've got Keith Harper in the No Lies Just Bullshit studio (actually recorded at Nick's house this time, so the quality dips a bit again, but y'all don't care, right?) this week to talk more about the infamous Absolute Art in Richmond and a bunch of other topics that are guaranteed to entertain.

There's even a Shop Talk on time this week. Well, sort of on time now that the episode is finally uploaded!

Thanks everyone again for stickin' it out as we learn about all this uploadin' and emailin' and all that good ol' shit. We're nailin' it down and it's been real good to hear from some of y'all in the process. Thanks to everyone who contacted Nick and let us know what you're diggin' so far. Hell, we'll probably be at fifty episodes before we know it, and who knows where that's gonna take us!

Keep on listenin', cuz we're gonna keep on bullshittin'!

Feb 16, 2017

*...formerly titled "Update"

Mainly wanted to get this episode out, our second one this week, to give everyone their "Shop Talk" fix since we didn't get it attached to our regularly scheduled Bullshit this week. 

So here's that, and just a little bit of catching up from the brothers Swartz.

Josh found out he fucked up the email when settin' up the website and comes clean with that info. Still tryin' to get the kinks worked out on that one. And Nick recaps everything that has gone down so far on your friendly neighborhood No Lies Just Bullshit Podcast.

First twenty down, and we're down to keep kickin' it rough and tough and ready every week for you. Our loyal Bullshitters. No lies.

Feb 14, 2017

*...formerly titled "Tomahawk"

This episode takes y'all back to the forested hills of eastern Virginia and down the backroads of wild & wonderful West VA as Nick sits down with Andy Sherman, a long time friend of Alley Cat Tattoo and a great artist to boot.

There's a lot of great stories in this one and some wonderful discussion of great music. I think there's plenty of bullshit to be enjoyed in this one.

Unfortunately, we couldn't get a Shop Talk stuck onto this one in time because of how busy we've been around here. But we've got a little something extra to release later on this same week and we'll attach one to that!

As always: enjoy the episode, and contact us if you've got anything to say.

Feb 7, 2017

*...formerly titled "Hogtown"

More bullshit with another heavy hitter this week as Nick sits down with Josh Brown, currently working out of his place James River Tattoo in Lynchburg, VA. The bullshit gets deep and the hot air is long and drawn out on this one, y'all. A real treat for our twentieth episode.

Lots o' call backs in this one to other Richmond stories and artists as the cast of characters surrounding Nick and Alley Cat continues to fill in and entertain. So many good friends, so much great bullshit.

Tatter & AC jump in at the end for another great breakdown of some must-see artwork in this week's Shop Talk.

So sit down, with Josh Brown. No lies.

Jan 31, 2017

*...formerly titled "Dubtown"

So this episode is a bit long, a bit wild and very much all over the place. I actually
considered recording an intro for this one to explain some of what's going on, but then I thought - nah! It's just bullshit! Right?

So Nick is talkin' with Sara, our body piercer at Alley Cat. But she's also just an all-out kickass chick who's become a celebrity for all the awesome shit she does, workin' at the shop and because - well, have you SEEN her?! Come on!

Sara's passion these days is burlesque performance, where she's known as the voluptuous Sindi Ray Boustier. She brought her fellow Harrisonburg Harlot, Beth along with her. Beth performs as Isla Palms, though you're treated to the back story about her former name.

Porter and Andrew pop in and out of this one. Nick was a bit under the weather. The vices were in short supply, and the bullshit was real deep. All that makes for a long and winding episode that's a bit different, but just another part this world that keeps us tight and tellin' it like it is. 


Jan 24, 2017

*...formerly titled "Six"

Alright. If you made it through last week's adventures and introduction, there's much more in this installment!

If you make it to the first hip hop song (and past Nick's bashing of one of my favorite bands, Clutch - PORTER, you should've defended them more fiercely!) then you'll enter a long and detailed discussion of rap history and MC descriptions beyond the norm. If you're into it, it's DOPE. If not, try it. If you can.

I fulfill Porter's request at the end of it all and make the episode super duper long by throwin' in a Shop Talk. Enjoy this shit!

Jan 17, 2017

*...formerly titled "Cherry"

Part One of Nick's conversation with our very own Porter.

No explanation necessary. And a Shop Talk.

Jan 10, 2017

We debated whether or not to put this episode out. It's a weird story. Still has us shaking our own heads to this day. The last thing you'd ever catch us doin' is whining about our situation. That ain't the case. There's some interesting points in this one. And, in the end, it's all bullshit anyway and that's what we're here for.

This particular summer "vacation" is one of the reasons you don't hear us lovingly recounting any memories of the father we had before the mountain man who raised us proper came on to the scene.

Nick, Andrew and Porter finish things off on a much lighter note discussing some killer tattoos and the amazing artists sharing them on the internet for us to see. So y'all enjoy!

Jan 3, 2017

*...formerly titled "Cuz"

Hope everyone had some great holiday chill. If you were mellow enough that you remember the last few weeks, this one might sound a bit out of place since we talk about a few things that are 'coming up' that we actually already released. 

We're pretty sure that fine bullshit aficionados like yourselves won't care about a few little discrepancies like that, though. So ignore anything that doesn't make sense. It IS bullshit, after all. We'd never lie to ya'. You're gonna get to meet another true character from the VanNess clan here anyway. And that's always a treat!

Still workin' on the sound issues. We've got some mics and do try them out in the Shop Talk portion of this one, but still have a lot to learn. This is a labor of love for us so far, so we don't have any funds to go full crazy bullshit with this, but we know that getting the stories to you every week comes first. Hopefully sound quality is coming later. If you know somethin' about it, or you know a guy who knows a gal who's cousin knew a dude who could do it - hook a bullshitter up!

Dec 27, 2016

*...formerly titled "Spark"

Don't miss this episode! Even if you haven't heard part one (though, I highly recommend you do) you've got to hear some of the classic tales on this one.

Lots of recognizable names are brought up while Nick and Dave bullshit their way through this second hour of good times and stories.

This is why we do it, folks. Talkin' about good times and sharing stories about all the things we love. This time focusing on tattoos.

Who knows what's next. Keep listening and let us know if there's somethin' you wanna know.

Dec 20, 2016

*...formerly titled "Absolute"

The wonderful Dave Boysno outta Absolute Art in Richmond VA joins Nick for some great stories and good times.

We hit a technical snag about three-quarters through this one, so it's gonna sound a bit like a dream sequence for about four minutes while Nick talks to our sister, Larami, and then Dave jumps back into some interrupted reminiscing - all the while sounding like robots. It gets back to normal after that, though.

No Shop Talk this week. Y'all have some great holiday fun until we catch you next week for the rest of Dave and more!

Dec 13, 2016

*...formerly titled "Tradition"

Scott Sterling stops by Alley Cat Tattoo all the way up from VA Beach to talk with Nick and Andrew about the current state of affairs in the tattoo industry as well as a lot of reminiscing on how things were and a lot of contrast and comparison of both.

Stories are shared involving a lot of familiar names and there's a lot of bullshitting about the daily operations of a tattoo shop. We try not to get bogged down in traditional style interviews on here, but you'll get to know Scott as though he decided to pop into your shop. So enjoy that.

Then you're in for a treat with the fourth Shop Talk. Pontificate Porter's precarious pronunciation and listen to the guys gush over some serious tats.

Have fun with this one!

Dec 7, 2016

*...formerly titled "Star"

Paul Somers stops by Nick's office with a surprise for us and some great storytellin' for y'all. After a little back and forth with some growin' up drinkin' tales. Meet Uncle Rudy.

A love of Hank Williams is celebrated and there's talk of some great shows at Paul's restaurant and bar: The Golden Pony.

Then it gets excellent when talk turns to drinkin' at the Moose with Tony. Here's a link to the video discussed in that segment, cuz' you'll wanna see it for sure:

Then we've got the third installment of Shop Talk with Nick, Porter & Andrew.

This segment is getting a lot of love, so it's going to continue. We're glad you all are enjoying everything.

As always, contact us if you have questions or comments!

Nov 30, 2016

*...formerly titled "Bunkhouse"

This episode takes you to a tattoo convention before cell phones were around to back up the crazy shit you're gonna hear about.

Then we lament the lack of halfpipe and skate session documentation of the ramp we built up in the holler with Tony.

You'll feel like you're in the bunkhouse with Nick on Cripple Creek when you get immersed in the unusual shit that went down one night.

Finally, a few animals might be abused in the last section of our talk today, but it's really just about doin' some hard work and the crazy things that might happen while it's happenin'. You know - bullshit.

Have at it.

Nov 25, 2016

*...formerly titled "Jedi"

Hear how we ended up in the little mountain town we grew up in. Some of the experiences that shaped us make us wonder how to implement those ordeals without havin' to recreate them.

We get into not knowin' one dad all the way up to the culture shock of livin' with our new one.

This episode also includes the second installment of our new segment "Shop Talk." Enjoy!

Nov 17, 2016

*...formerly titled "Tough"

Yeah, I made y'all wait a couple extra days on this one, but it's worth it!

Nick remembers what got him fascinated with tattoos way back in the day. Josh, unsurprisingly, struggles to share that memory. That leads to talk about ink-pen tattoos done by Josh on several people, all the way up to how Nick met the legend they call 'GRIZ.'

His name can still be seen around Alley Cat on old flash here and there, and meeting him led to the Griz & Troy partnership that eventually became Alley Cat and the rest of the story you've been gettin' pieces of.

Stick around towards the end of this episode because we have a brand new segment for you that all you tattooers are going to LOVE, and everyone else will find entertaining, too. It's called Shop Talk and this first one is with Andrew Conner who was featured on two earlier very popular episodes, and Chris 'Tatter' Porter. They bullshit with Nick and it's excellent.

Check it out now.

Nov 9, 2016

*...formerly titled "Buckle"

Hey bullshitters - this one's gonna sound a bit weird after those great Conner episodes. See - we're still figurin' this shit out and this one was recorded before we got Andrew on here. So I think we call it episode five and we talk about just getting our name and website.

Ignore that shit and enjoy the stories. It's a bit short, but I think talk about our new president is gonna be fillin' everyone's days for a bit anyway. Use this as a break from the insanity and enjoy!

That's Poor Farm playin' in the intro. You'll be hearing more from them and hell - maybe even live on on an episode. Keep listenin' - we're havin' a kick-ass time makin' em!

Nov 4, 2016

*...formerly titled "Damie"

I won't waste time with a long description on this one. If you didn't catch Episode Five, it was part one of Nick talkin' with the amazingly talented and loyal Andrew Conner.

This is Part Two.


Oct 31, 2016

*...formerly titled "Precedence"

Nick & Andrew have been best friends, roommates, coworkers and partners in crime for a long damn time. Listen in on some casual conversation between them beginning with their first house (or hovel) they rented and back and forth through the last couple of decades.

Hear stories from how Conner got involved in the tattoo game, nighttime shenanigans shared by the duo and just a lot of bullshit that we know you love.

This is part one of two since these guys had a LOT to talk about. We thought we'd split it up into two episodes. Part two will be up later this week.

Get to it and thanks for kickin' it with us.

Oct 26, 2016

*...formerly titled "Bit"

On what would become the hill we learned to skateboard on, Nick's first encounter involves his face scrapin' down the sumbitch after fallin' out of the Scout.

What do you do when you're visitin' someone's house and their step dad takes a literal bite of your toe? That doozy and a bonus bitin' story by Nick in this episode. How could you not?

Finally, let's start talking about Nick's tattoos. Starting with the first.

We're takin' the liberty o' bullshittin' y'all. Enjoy.

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